Month: November 2014

extinction report 11.28

Have you ever had that friend back in grammar school who ate his own boogers? And have you ever wondered what exactly became of that kid? Indeed, rarely do we pose the question:

What becomes of the booger-eaters?

Now, if you’re anything like me, you’re at least a little suspicious about how the government handles your tax dollars. But if I were to find out that they were conducting long-term studies on the fates of the eaters of boogers, I would rest easy. Indeed, I’d likely volunteer to pay more towards it.

You see, I have some pretty good idea of how things shake out in life for those children who sup in this fashion. Think about it: open unfettered booger-eating likely requires a certain mind frame, one that screams “To Hell with what they say, I really like these nose gremlins! There’s a rare tanginess to them and they pair well with the lunchroom milk!!!”

Indeed, a true maverick spirit seems to infuse the habit and its trappings.

Who knows? Worthwhile studies could bear out that the booger-eater of today is tomorrow’s great leader. We certainly can…and have…seen worse.

11.20.14 4:03 PM

november
will have its way,
returning like the
lover that
disappeared one night
with the
bad scotch
and the
good tumblers.

november
you say

i tried ┬ábut I didn’t
have the right magic
or the right face

november
you say

you promised me
half-chances
but only left me with

quarters,
Canadian,
back when that meant
something.

november will have its way,

weaving a coat of cold
but it will fool you too,
dredging up enough
guts of the fall
and promising

it won’t be

like last time.

 

11.19.14 2:10 PM

the vortex
tendrils down, gorges on
you,
and glutted,
whispers
doubt
doubt
doubt,
you’re the champ and
there’s
always time
always time,
I mean, hell
you gotta mixed
record as a kid,
giving, getting,
but they lost the records
and are spoiling for a
do-over.

did you know
that if you fly high
and long enough
your eardrums will
turn to antlers
and you’ll get granted
the libido of the
megafauna?

Look,
meet me outside the
church down the
road, the one with
the lion out
front.

you
know
the

one.

 

11.17.14 10:17 AM

hey
how ’bout
an ass-whoopin’?

Normally
i wouldn’t ask
like this, but
I think you’d
benefit from it,
and really, I’m
here to help.

hey
how ’bout
a thorough beating?

you look like you
can take it,
and from the way you’ve been
carrying on,
it looks like you’re

extending the invite.

now, don’t be

bashful about
giving the high sign,
it’s really no
bother.

hey
how ’bout
I make short work of you?

it’s like a dance, this thing
and here you are, without

a partner.

now now, don’t fret about
burdening me,
I can assure you
what happens next will
only improve
both of our days.